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Monday, August 21, 2017

Frequently Asked Question: Why Do Polyamorists Get Married?


The question is asked as though the person asking assumes that actual monogamy is a requirement for marriage. It isn’t in most places, even though current marriage laws will only allow monogamy in the legal sense.

For the purpose of this question and answer, I will include any form of honest nonmonogamy, or any label applied, such as open relationship, open marriage, swinging, swapping, polyamory, polyfidelity and polygamy.

Why do swingers get married?

Why do people in open relationships get married?

Why do polyamorous people get married?

The short answer is: For the same reason most other people get married. They want to get married, they think it is the best thing to do at that time in life, or they’re pressured.

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Sunday, August 20, 2017

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Myth: People Who Act on GSA Won’t Be Able to Have Normal Lives


Reality: The only hindrance to having a “normal life” for those who continue together in a Genetic Sexual Attraction relationship is the bigotry of others.

Some who’ve been brought together through GSA lead perfectly "normal," even unusually good lives. This is more likely to be possible with the support of friends and family and will be even more likely with decriminalization of GSA and the arrival of full marriage equality.

Until then, many people in consanguinamorous relationships are somewhat closeted. There may be people you know who seem like the cutest couple, and may be great neighbors, who are actually people who were brought together by GSA.

Please help make it possible for more people who've been brought together through GSA lead "normal" lives.

See Myth: Only Defective People Experience GSA

See Myth: GSA Causes Birth Defects or the Children Will Be Deformed
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Friday, August 18, 2017

New to This Blog or Looking to Find Out More?

We support the rights of an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, to share love, sex, residence, and marriage (and any other union offered by law), and any of those things without the others, with any and all consenting adults, without fear of prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. These are basic human rights and it shouldn't matter who is disgusted by the relationships of other adults or who doesn't understand why the adults would want to be together.

If you're viewing the desktop/laptop version, you'll see that over there in the column on the right you can find ways to connect and to follow this blog, and at the top of the page are tabs with drop-downs of some important pages, entries, and links. If you're viewing a mobile version, many of the links are below.

You are welcomed and affirmed here regardless of your gender, sexuality, or relationship diversities, and whether you are looking for more information, are in the closet or out about your gender, sexual orientation, or relationship, or want to be an ally. Are you here because of polyamory or polygamy? Perhaps you're here because this blog covers Genetic Sexual Attraction or consanguinamory (consensual incest) or because you think or know your partner has been involved? Do you need help? Whether you're a family member or friend who is looking for more information, or a journalist, or are someone who is looking to help the cause, we hope you are helped by what is here.

There's an About This Blog page, and you can read about the triad who originally inspired this blog.

There's a Glossary so that you can become familiar with terms frequently used here.

We explain why we need solidarity in supporting full marriage equality and we debunk all the arguments that you'll ever hear made against equality, so if you're against equal rights, please carefully read through that page.

On the Case Studies page we feature interviews with people who have been denied their rights, so you can "meet" people who are, or have been, in consensual loving relationships who have are harmed by the lack of equality under the law.

This blog is a labor of love. There's no advertising and we don't accept monetary contributions. Want to help? Spread the word. If you are a lawyer, attorney, or someone who works with a legal group or law firm, we'd like to hear from you if you are supportive. Also, this blog DOES accept content submissions (Keith can be contacted at... fullmarriageequality at yahoo dot com), but makes no offer, implicit nor explicit, of compensation nor guarantees that it will be used. If you want to tell your story, that would be very helpful to others!

Tell us what you think by commenting or by contacting us.

Join our Facebook group "I Support Full Marriage Equality."

Keith wants to be friends with all who support full marriage equality and relationship rights for all adults. Be Facebook friends with Keith.

Follow the Twitter account for this blog.

Follow the Tumblr blog for Full Marriage Equality

The Final Manifesto is another excellent blog.

If you don't want to connect, still feel free to send Keith a note at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

Myths about Genetic Sexual Attraction
Ten Myths About Sibling Consanguinamory
Bad Reasons to Deny Love
Ten Reasons Why Consensual Incest is Wrong (Sarcastic) 



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Thursday, August 17, 2017

Hate Kills

There has been a long march to achieve civil rights and even basic human rights. It seems that every country goes through their own struggle against the forces of prejudice and bigotry, with the privileged reluctant to give up their powers of discrimination, especially against minorities. Sometimes they even act out violently.

The forces against progress are apparently determined to try to stall their inevitable defeats as long as possible, despite it being obvious to anyone to stops to think that rights for all is our destiny.

The problem is, this is not some friendly little debate over some unimportant matter.

There are people who are literally dying because of the hate and the discrimination it produces.

The haters have blood on their hands.

We really don’t care if you find the love lives and sexuality or gender identity of others to be strange or disgusting, or if your religion disapproves. Does your religion tell you that your god wants people killing themselves? Because there are people driven to suicide due to the senseless hostility constantly directed at them, and for what? For what? Because they love someone! There's no good reason to keep the discrimination going. Finding good therapists and other health care providers and helping professionals, and being honest with them, is difficult for some because of the criminalization of love. Your personal disapproval should not interfere in the lives of anyone else! Don’t want a consanguinamorous relationship, or a polyamorous one for that matter, or a gay one, or interracial one? Then don’t have one!

Stop standing in the way of people being themselves and sharing love and affection.

Be an ally instead.

If you’re facing hate, please don’t harm yourself. Get help instead, and know you’re not alone. You can write Keith at fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com.
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Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Myth: Only Defective People Experience GSA

Reality: The only thing that fills in the blank of  “Only ___ experience reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction” is “introduced or reunited close genetic relatives.”

When someone says that only people who are [fill in the blank with whatever thing they think is an insult or pejorative] experiences reunion Genetic Sexual Attraction, they are speaking out of prejudice and ignorance. They might dismiss all people who experience GSA as being lonely, desperate for attention, rebellious, immoral, hypersexed, promiscuous, lacking boundaries, weak, lacking self-control, ignorant, uneducated, freaks, losers, unattractive, or whatever.

It’s not true.

People who experience GSA come from every demographic in every part of the world. There are attractive, outgoing, popular, successful, wealthy, disciplined, educated people who’ve experienced GSA, many of whom have been or still are, sexually involved. Their sex lives may have been rather average or even conservative before GSA. People who’ve experienced GSA come from diverse racial, professional, financial, political, and religious backgrounds.

Nobody's perfect, and it is tempting for the ignorant to point to some shortcoming or something missing in the life of someone experiencing GSA and insist it is the reason the person is experiencing GSA or having a consanguinamorous relationship. Or, it can be temping to point out how someone is different than you and blame that. It just doesn't match up to reality.

Based on the diverse backgrounds and situations and characteristics of people who've experienced GSA, it is apparent that is not the result of anything being "wrong" with the person who experiences it.

See Myth: Acting on GSA is Wrong or Destructive

See Myth: People Who Act on GSA Won't Be Able to Have Normal Lives
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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Myth: Acting on GSA is Wrong or Destructive

Reality: Acting romantically or sexually on Genetic Sexual Attraction is neither inherently wrong nor destructive. As with any other factor when it comes to relationships, not every situation is the same. Some people just aren’t right for each other. Some people want to keep a vow of monogamy to someone else. Some people want a partner that is close in age, and their GSA relative is significantly older or younger. There are many different things that come into play in relationships. That consenting adults are close genetic relatives does not make a romantic or sexual involvement with each other wrong.

Different people are going to have different moral guidelines about sex, but consanguinamory by people who were not raised together or by one another (which is the situation with reunion GSA) is not considered wrong by everyone or all cultures. Nor is there anything inherently destructive about it, but rather some find it constructive.

For some, it is the best of all possibilities; it is wonderful, lasting, and fulfilling.

What can be destructive is prejudice against GSA or consanguinamory, expressed through criminal prosecution or attacks by family or others.  There is no good reason to deny consenting adults their basic rights when it comes to relationships and their sexuality. Family and friends might benefit from reading this.

See Myth: GSA is Unnatural

See Myth: Only Defective People Experience GSA
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Monday, August 14, 2017

Swinging Around the Family Tree

I know more than one polyamorous relationship that involves close relatives. In some cases, a consanguinamorous relationship is involved, meaning the close relatives are partners, and in other cases, they are not with each other but are with the same person or part of the same polycule. Some famous male polygynists in plural marriages are married to sisters. Traditional polyandry in places like India usually involves a woman married to multiple brothers.

I’m always interested in hearing from more people in such relationships. I’m also interested in hearing from others who may or may not be in ongoing relationships, but have been been in sexual situations, whether planned or not, where a relative (blood, step, adopted, on in-law,) perhaps a cousin, sibling, parent, uncle, aunt, adult child, nephew, or niece was involved or at least present. For example, someone goes to a play party and is surprised to find their sibling there. Or maybe it was a private threesome with siblings or parent and their adult child.

Basically, I’m looking for people who’ve been to the intersection of polyamory or swinging or threesomes/moresomes (and those three are NOT synonyms, by the way) and family connections.
I do realize that many nonmonogamous people are completely opposed to consanguinamorous relationships, and I also know some people in consanguinamorous relationships think monogamy is the only right way. That is one of the reasons I’m seeking people who’ve experienced the intersection of sexuality with more than two people involved or present + legal or blood relation. I know some. I’m looking to hear from more.

And I’m always looking for anyone who wants to be interviewed or just wants to correspond who is, or was, in a “forbidden” consensual adult relationship (including monogamous ones) or now that faces cultural, familial, or legal opposition (interracial, intergenerational, gay, polyamorous, polygamous, open, consanguineous, etc.)

Please write me via my Tumblr http://fullmarriageequality.tumblr.com or Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/fullmarriageequality or email fullmarriageequality at protonmail dot com

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Sunday, August 13, 2017

Myth: GSA is Unnatural

Reality: Genetic Sexual Attraction is a normal and natural reaction to the circumstances.

While it is very common for people who spent their childhoods in the same residence together or were raised by one another, whether genetically related or not, to develop a suppression of sexual attraction to each other (this has been described as the Westermarck Effect), close genetic relatives who were not raised together or by one another don’t develop this suppression towards each other. Nor do all people who were raised together or by one another.

They may not be attracted to each other, but they may be. They may even be intensely attracted to each other. Even if intensely attracted to each other, they may not be right for each other. Or, they may be right for each and might go on to have lifelong happiness together.

Studies reveal most people are attracted to people who look like them. Who looks like more you than your close genetic relatives? While not all introductions or reunions result in attraction, many do. And sometimes, the attraction is mutual.

Not only can they look like each other, share genes, and share other traits, but an adult genetic child can look like their other parent; someone to whom the reuniting genetic parent may have had an attraction (especially if the child was conceived through intercourse.) Or, this virtual social stranger can look like your sibling, custodial parent, or other family members, creating a sense of bonding or familiarity.

See Myth: Anyone Experiencing GSA Needs Therapy

See Myth: Acting on GSA is Wrong or Destructive
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Saturday, August 12, 2017

Myth: Anyone Experiencing GSA Needs Therapy

Reality: Therapy won’t always be necessary, but since there is so much prejudice against those who experience Genetic Sexual Attraction, someone who is experiencing it might benefit from therapy.

Experiencing GSA is not an indication that anything is wrong with the person experiencing it. GSA is a normal, natural reaction to the circumstances.

Being reunited with, or introduced to, a close genetic relative who hasn’t been in your life can be enough to prompt therapy, depending on the situation. Add GSA, and yes, therapy can be helpful.

The prejudices, stigmas, and taboos involved in GSA situations, internalized by those involved or not, can be enough of a burden to make therapy beneficial.

However, not everyone who experiences GSA needs therapy. Some people who experience GSA continue to function well without having had therapy.

If someone does need therapy, it would be helpful if they weren’t ostracized or criminalized, and could find a therapist familiar with the issues involved. This is one reason we need to bring GSA and consanguinamory out of the shadows.

See Myth: Only Someone Who Was Abused or Neglected Experiences GSA

See Myth: GSA is Unnatural
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Friday, August 11, 2017

Can Adult Family Members Bond Too Much?

I answer a challenge at this blog's sister Tumblr.
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Myth: Only Someone Who Was Abused or Neglected Experiences GSA

Reality: While some people who’ve experienced Genetic Sexual Attraction have been abused or neglected in the past, many people who’ve experienced GSA never experienced serious abuse or neglect.

People who experience GSA come from a wide variety of backgrounds, including warm and loving families as well as abusive childhoods. The only thing, so far, determined to be common to all people experiencing reunion GSA is that they were introduced to, or reunited with, a close genetic relative post-puberty. Abuse is not the cause of GSA.

If you don’t want someone to be abused, don’t abuse people experiencing GSA. Don’t ostracize them for having their feelings. Don’t criminalize their love. Don't deny them their rights.

See Myth: Sex in GSA Relationships Always Means Someone is Being Abused

See Myth: Anyone Experiencing GSA Needs Therapy
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