Someone submitted this to me for response...
I want to thank you, you and thefinalmanifesto have completely changed my mind about polyamory, and marriage equality. I think I hadn't let myself consider it seriously before because I felt like that would be validating conservatives' "slippery slope" arguments about same-sex marriage. You've put a human face on the issue, and made me realize I need to stop being intellectually dishonest. I've got a lot of learning ahead of me. Thanks and continue to be awesome!This is what I wrote...
Hey, thanks!
That tactic by those against marriage equality is nothing new. Go back in US history and one of the arguments against abolishing slavery and civil rights was “Those negroes are going to take your women if we free them or give them rights!” And, of course, in the 1960s, bans on interracial marriage were struck down by the Supreme Court, and that is good!
Go back and you’ll see “No, we can’t let women vote! If we do, next they’ll be independent!” And, of course, many are now, and that’s good.
Interracial marriage and adult women NOT having to be subservient to a husband, father, or brother seemed radical and jarring, but what more people should have asked at the time was, “What’s wrong with that?”
So let’s do that now when it comes to adult relationships and marriage. What’s the problem with letting consenting adults be together the way they want? Challenge the prejudiced. They won’t have a good answer. They’ll scoff, or jump up and down, or point and say “See!!!” But those aren’t arguments. They don’t explain why we should discriminate against any consensual relationships between adults.
My call to solidarity: http://fullmarriageequality.tumblr.com/FME
That tactic by those against marriage equality is nothing new. Go back in US history and one of the arguments against abolishing slavery and civil rights was “Those negroes are going to take your women if we free them or give them rights!” And, of course, in the 1960s, bans on interracial marriage were struck down by the Supreme Court, and that is good!
Go back and you’ll see “No, we can’t let women vote! If we do, next they’ll be independent!” And, of course, many are now, and that’s good.
Interracial marriage and adult women NOT having to be subservient to a husband, father, or brother seemed radical and jarring, but what more people should have asked at the time was, “What’s wrong with that?”
So let’s do that now when it comes to adult relationships and marriage. What’s the problem with letting consenting adults be together the way they want? Challenge the prejudiced. They won’t have a good answer. They’ll scoff, or jump up and down, or point and say “See!!!” But those aren’t arguments. They don’t explain why we should discriminate against any consensual relationships between adults.
My call to solidarity: http://fullmarriageequality.tumblr.com/FME
![Non-Monogamy Diagram [I:FV]](http://www.obsidianfields.com/lj/nonmonogamy2.5.1.gif){kind=link}
Re: Interracial marriage and adult women NOT having to be subservient to a husband, father, or brother seemed radical and jarring, but what more people should have asked at the time was, “What’s wrong with that?”
ReplyDeleteI agree with the idealist spirit of the argument for total freedom of action.. however I think people should not be naieve and think that there are not winners and losers in whichever actions we decide to take. Adult children who hurt their parents' feelings and break family traditions and expectations in order to be with the one they love at the moment, may find themselves disinherited and not given the financial support they might otherwise have received from parents. Underage children can be permanently scarred psychologically when parents split up to go after some new love in their life, a good many turning to drugs to cope with depression, or faster ways of suicide.
I am not knocking the overall argument for solidarity, just reminding that there are arguments against that will come up and we have to have the counter-arguments at hand. Some people are adamant, for example that consang couples have a higher chance of having children with birth defects than non consanguineous couples and it is not fair to create one more child with a defect that they have to suffer with for their whole life. My answer to that would be that France, which legalized ACI in 1810 now has the lowest birth defect rate in the world.(Note see Essential Concepts for Healthy Living Update
By Sandra Alters, Wendy Schiff:https://books.google.com.au/books?id=hTiFUEBStlkC&pg=PA414&lpg=PA414&dq=%22the+lowest++rate+of+birth+defects%22&source=bl&ots=H_mMAHjDib&sig=n0SDXziGCkf9Q6TZTyVTYytTcL4&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjKi6mozI_TAhWCMGMKHY8YBJwQ6AEIGTAA#v=onepage&q=%22the%20lowest%20%20rate%20of%20birth%20defects%22&f=false